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Showing posts from January, 2011

"Just"

This week off between jobs I have had a lot of time to read my Bible, pray, connect with friends and think about things that I haven't had time to think about lately. I have noticed this before, but it came to my mind again as I was praying while driving to run some errands (don't worry, I had my eyes open).

What I kept noticing was that I was praying with the word "just" a lot, but not in any way that made sense (i.e. referring to being "guided by truth, reason, justice, and fairness" or God's "righteousness" as defined by dictionary.com), but rather I was using it as a qualifier of sorts ("exactly or precisely; only or merely" again by dictionary.com). When I say I was using it as a qualifier, I was saying things like, "Lord, would you just protect them" or "would you just be with them" type of stuff. The frustrating thing is I realized what I was saying in the middle and kept stopping and starting my prayer…

So many prayers answered, a page is turned.

The last several months those who know me best have noticed that I haven't quite been myself lately. I contribute a majority of it to some challenging things going on in my work environment and feeling an unrest in myself because of it. My lack of time reading the Bible has been a part of it, too. I have struggled over the last several months to delight myself in the Lord, and be satisfied in Him alone (wanting for the circumstances to change when I said so) and have been... I don't know - out of whack, I guess. I have struggled with believing the best about people and not adding fuel to fires already burning. And I have cried out for God to deliver me (I realize this sounds dramatic, but this was honestly my prayer, "save me a spot where you'd have me to be and deliver me out of this place").

I have found prayer to be an ongoing and increasing part of my everyday life as I used to know it to be. Going to God first with every little (or huge) thing and telling…