Earlier this week, the Lord brought a very clear, succinct thought to my mind while I was getting ready for the day. It was this:
"Babies can't deliver, but moms can. Try to deliver patience when your baby doesn't deliver on your expectations. They can't intentionally deliver one way or the other."
I am one of the few women you may ever meet who actually enjoyed being in labor and delivering my child. I look back at that approximately 8 hours of active labor and 25 minutes of pushing as a very peaceful, wonderful, beautiful time and have fond memories of it. I know this sounds crazy, but that was my birth experience with my son. I'm not into eastern religion, but if I've ever had anything close to "Zen," I think it was during labor.
However, delivering emotionally can sometimes be quite challenging for me, right along with keeping everything in perspective. Especially patience, when I'm tired. Not a great track record on that one. But I've been working on this with the Lord over the last year especially, and God has been actively working in my heart and mind to grow me.
This little lesson would have come in handy the other night when I was tired and things weren't really going my way. My little boy fell asleep before having dinner and then woke up 3 hours later and was up until nearly midnight. I had tried to fall asleep when he did, but couldn't unwind and wasn't able to. And my husband was gone at school for the night. I totally forgot about this quote, literally written on the bathroom mirror, until I saw it the following morning. I felt so badly that I hadn't relied on this simple truth that I believe was a little lesson from the Lord, and I certainly did not respond with patience nor grace, unfortunately. I literally cried while feeding my son his late night dinner and hanging out with him (off and on) while I waited for help to arrive (my husband)... all because my little guy who is not even 2 was having an "off night" with regard to sleep, which is completely out of his and my control.
I'm thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that I can start over, so I will. And I'll keep in mind that when things aren't going my way, it's ok to acknowledge that I'm frustrated about the situation, but I don't need to come so unglued when it's completely out of my control (except for my response).