I wrote this in my journal a while back, after a challenging time with my little guy. I continue to learn and see that grief is rarely definable nor the same from one experience of it to the next. This is what grief looked and felt like that day, in that moment. Grief Surprising, unexpected overwhelming waves big things, small things hard and important things. Skills gained and not yet gained and w onder if they ever will be gained. Big wins, big losses hard conversations. Exhausted coach and referee. Daily life. Wonder if I'm doing enough when I see him struggle or others struggle with him. Broken heart at lost dreams. Repaired heart with new ones. And hope. And pride. And love. And.