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Our Year in Review for 2022

  Highlights: Zachy’s expressive speech, independent skills, self-regulation, and swimming skills grew so much last year! Music therapy and swimming lessons were happily parts of his weekly routines. Sophia lost several teeth (now up to 7) and excitedly got lots of visits from the tooth fairy. She’s grown so much in her confidence and skills in the water through swimming lessons and in her use of speaking (and listening to) Spanish at home. It’s been fun for her and Kate to share that. Kate got a new job at UnitedHealth Care that is an answer to many prayers, a great fit and provides many blessings and benefits to her and our family. She discovered and has greatly enjoyed bullet journaling, writing poetry, creating various artistic pieces, and participating with a small group of women reading the book The Artist’s Rule. She’s learning about the monastic and artist’s way of lift and various contemplative practices that have been enriching, healing, surprising and helpful. Louie is e...
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Dear Me - About Christmas Day (2022)

Dear Me, What if letting Christmas Day unfold as it wills, be open and cozy and warm, but no frills is exactly how this day is just meant to be? What if unstructured play time  is the best plan of all? Not stressfully packing the car to the brim, but being wide open to following whims? Rather than dodging big snow drifts and weaving through cars, crossing of "all that you needed to bring,"  both to near and to far, parenting through crying or even some screams... What if today gets to be peaceful and quiet, with time to enjoy playing, relaxing, freedom, new toys? Reading new books, trying out clothes, games and things; room to explore and dream up new dreams. Maybe the best thing to do is have nowhere to be, except here with ourselves and each other and of course, baby Je(sus). I think that the Holiest Spirit would say:  "don't worry about the details,  today's already perfectly made." Merry Christmas, indeed.

If You're Going to Put on Makeup

  If you’re going to put on makeup, you’ll probably start with some mascara. When you take out your mascara, you’ll remember you like to curl your eyelashes first, so you’ll have to find your curler. When you find your curler, you’ll slowly put your eyelashes in, one eyelid at a time. Curling your eyelashes will remind you of how fun it is to curl your hair, so you’ll probably find your curling iron and plug it in. While it’s heating up, you’ll get inspired about what to wear, so you’ll go to your closet to pick something out. You’ll choose a favorite shirt and pair of pants and excitedly put them on. When you step into your pants, you’ll notice your toenail polish is peeling off and decide that it would be fun to have them match your favorite shirt. So you’ll go to the cupboard and take out your nail polish remover and select the right color. You’ll remove your peeling polish and see the blinking light of inactivity on your curling iron. So you’ll wash your hands and curl your hai...

The Perfect Gardener

 These last few days were spent swimming in the lake and being outside with my family for hours. Today, our little lady and I dried off while picking raspberries (over a gallon-worth), sugar snow peas and pulling weeds from what I'm now calling Papa's farm. My little one got frustrated with me recently for calling her "my little farm girl," for reasons I couldn't quite understand then. Today, I was able to expand her idea of being a farmer, with this question, "Did you know Papa is a really good farmer?" She was intrigued, so I continued, "a farmer is anyone who works hard to take care of the land, grow food and care for the earth." She asked, "really?" I assured her and then asked, "would it be okay if I call you my little farm girl again some time?" and she said yes. I think she's getting it.  Over the long weekend, God's spirit brought me so much peace, healing and laughter; strengthened our kids in their swimming...

Musings During Quarantine

Pieces of this have been going around in my mind and my heart during the last month or so. I believe the Lord is trying to use this time to get my attention, while everything slows down, and I’m guessing God may be doing the same in you too. Yet, I'm struggling to not fill the quiet with more distractions of my own, even though many of the external ones have quieted. Are you? God has prompting me to wonder a lot of things. What if this time is an opportunity for us, individually and as a culture, to redefine a few words, like… Productivity: What if productivity doesn’t mean accomplishing our entire to-do lists, but rather,  leaving things undone to have meaningful, quality time with our people, God or ourselves? Who’s keeping track of our home stuff right now besides having food, water and clean-ish clothes and dishes anyway?  Success: What if being successful means I model for my loved ones (and littles) listening to my body, heart and needs and expressing myself in ...

Zach's 8th Birthday

Reflections of a mama to a wonderful boy, who has a rare genetic syndrome, near his birthday. Every year, I forget that Zach’s birthday isn’t only celebratory for me. It can also be a trigger for parts of grief of the things that are not yet and may never be. It’s a remembrance of both the gift of the sweet season where we had no idea that he was different from any other kid and the gift of finding out that, in fact, he is quite different. In big and small ways, our little joy-bringer has brought so much to our lives and to those around him. His joy is contagious, his energy seemingly endless, his passion fierce, his love of music infectious, his warmth and friendliness welcoming. And he also needs a lot of support, interpretation, advocacy, patience, understanding, brainstorming with teachers, redirecting and so on.  As I’ve learned many times before, Joy and Grief often accompany each other; the two are not mutually exclusive. But that can make it hard for me to identify wh...

Carry Me

Today I got to carry you on a walk, in which you usually set a pretty fast pace without many rests along the way But today, you needed me you reached up with open arms and without any words I knew So, I picked you up and felt the beauty of your weight in my arms and the heat from our exercise emanating forth you snuggled your sweaty head nuzzled into my neck and whispered "mucky" I said "I love you too, mucky" And I carried you in silence in beauty with gratitude and you grounded me to this moment right now as your strong mama in whose arms you find so many things My son, in whose heart I see the joy of the Lord in whose eyes, I see my own in whose heart, I sense such an amazing knowing that I cannot articulate, because I don't fully understand it yet, myself Today, I helped you take a load off your feet and your growing legs and rest your tired body. You helped my heart soar and my soul know the peace of God in such an i...